Month Review: April 2026

I rewrote this blogpost like three times now. Made some edits because I felt I was spilling too much personal stuff here. Part of me didn't think this was worth updating in the RSS Feed about since the first half is practically venting, but it is my site, and it's still an update at least.

Health Issues. Yay

My body keeps coming up with new ways to ruin my day or entire week. I was completely bedridden for two entire days due to my period, and then for another after my weekend shift because I was so tired that my entire body felt sore that I couldn't even walk. My stomach issues started flaring up again so I have to go back to taking my medication for it.

I think that I am not doing well mentally. I mean this in the sense that I've been really hyperactive one minute, and then lethargic and irritable the next. My moodswings have been getting bad.
I don't have the willpower to see a doctor about my mental health because I'm afraid of my time being wasted. But I need to see a OBGYN at the very least, because I am so sick of my period blocking out entire days of my week due to being stuck in bed. My mom tried to dissuade me from considering birth control, but I don't care anymore. The store-bought medication barely helps, and the nausea medication I was prescribed only stops that and not the cramps.

Half of the reasons for my stress right now is because I've basically gone 5 months now job-hunting with next to no success outside of what I can only consider to be scams. Everyone is struggling right now, which only makes me angrier at how we've gotten to this point at all. I genuinely wish the best for everyone.

Actual News

I'm really trying to find something substantial enough to let me move out and also pay my student debt. It was suggested that I find something I could get ceritified in for the medical field. Technically, my degree does let me in certain places in the medical field and I have been considering getting an actual certification before, but I don't know yet. I've decided to ask my aunt and my old advisor about it since they've both really helped me over the years.

I'd rather use computer science to help with medical or educational stuff than work for a shitty tech startup or FAANG or whatever. I've felt this way even before all the stupid GenAI and 'tech oligarchy' stuff started worsening. I have no aspirations to work for those large companies partly because I knew people who used to work under them. The faux glamour isn't worth the shit they dealt with behind the scenes. I am extremely grateful that my first job experience was with a decent company. Unfortunately, the company got bought up by someone else, hence partly why I am in this predicament lol.

I feel like I'm just going through the motions and trying to occupy myself with stuff like music and video games and tv shows and coding this website. It has been working, unfortunately. But I know I need to try and take better control of my health. I can't enjoy any of those things if I'm stuck in bed all the time.

Actual News II

Due to my friend having school stuff come up, we decided to drop out of the Daydrinking Jam and enter the 2nd Toxic Yuri Jam together instead. We're still keeping the characters (they were mainly borrowed from a certain pairing from a certain video game anyway) but we probably have to tweak the premise based on whatever the Jam's theme is going to be. I don't expect to win or anything (I genuinely don't mean this pessimistically), but I still want to see "Sanguine Sunrise" through because I want to try making another visual novel since I know that there are things I could have improved on. And it's fun making things with friends.

I have still been drawing, just very slowly. I don't feel the pressure to have to upload art consistently to 'maintain' my accounts since I can use my site as an archive outside of social media. Of course, I do still sometimes feel guilty that I have people following me when I barely post art, but I'm just not built to pump out drawings every single day, and that's fine.

I think if I have a main goal creative-wise, I want to get off my butt and make something small but introductory for Mikaela and the other "Violet Crow" cast. I've mainly been considering a visual novel or something with RPG Maker since I was re-learning it last year. I grew up playing a lot of RPG Maker games, but I think out of them I really like how Funamusea and Etherane have an extensive cast that you see throughout their games. So I really want to try something like that. My OCs help keep me a little bit sane, so having a project to work towards will ground me. Hopefully.

This was my longest Monthly update, but so much has been going on, so. I'm really hoping that May is a little bit better.

Thanks for reading ★